📽 Q&A Video Transcript
👋 Introduction
Hey friends—welcome back to the read-along. This week we’re talking about Chapter Ten: Know Your Audience, Know Yourself. No questions came in for this one, but there’s a core distinction I wanted to revisit: the difference between trauma and crisis—because mixing them up can be maddening.
🧠 Trauma vs. Crisis
Crisis is now. It’s when the threat is real and present, and your body is working hard to keep you alive.
Trauma is the imprint of a danger that has passed. It lives on in the nervous system, often long after the event is over—especially if the original threat was chronic, disorienting, or invisible to others.
This difference matters because the resources we need for surviving crisis are different from those we need for healing trauma. And it can be confusing when both are happening at once—or when the world is still dangerous, just in a different way.
😤 Why “Are You Safe Right Now?” Can Feel Infuriating
If you’ve lived through theological trauma, it’s likely that your nervous system still responds to the world as if you’re in danger. And in many ways, you are. But part of the work is learning to assess: Is this the same kind of danger? Is this the same moment?
For many of us, that question feels invalidating—because we still need to grieve the truth:
We weren’t safe.
The danger was real.
The people who were supposed to protect us didn’t.
That grief matters. It’s a part of recovery—not a detour.
🧠 Your Nervous System Is Not Stupid—It’s Trying to Protect You
Religious trauma often hijacks the nervous system in subtle ways. You may know intellectually that you're no longer in danger, but your body still feels like you could go to hell for every mistake. That’s trauma.
Your body is responding to old threats with survival strategies that worked once. But now, those strategies can keep you from engaging fully with the present moment—and that’s where the repair happens.
🔍 Is This a Crisis—or a Reminder of One?
This is the heart of discernment. We ask:
Is what I’m feeling based on the actual present moment—or is it echoing the past?
Do I have access to more tools now than I did then?
Am I safe enough now to try a different response?
You’re not bypassing reality when you ask these questions. You’re giving your body a chance to stop bracing.
💪 Why Regulation is Resistance
Living in a regulated nervous system doesn’t mean being calm all the time. It means being able to move fluidly—fight, flee, freeze, connect—without getting stuck. And that flexibility gives us options, even in hard times.
Sympathetic energy (fight-or-flight) is great for 30 seconds of action. But long-haul challenges—like dismantling systems, surviving marginalization, or healing after betrayal—require a different kind of endurance. That’s why regulation isn’t complacency. It’s strategy.
📝 Journal Prompt
This week, ask: Is what I’m feeling today a response to a real-time threat—or a residue from a past one? What would change if I responded to this moment with the tools I have now?
📅 Next Week
We’ll keep moving forward with Chapter Eleven. And if you haven’t done the exercises in the book yet, I promise—they’re worth doing. I’ll see you soon.
